For those of you who do not know, Amber Cole is supposedly the name of the 14 year old Memphis girl displayed in a video that went viral earlier this week. In the Video, she is seen performing oral sex on a an underage male while another one watches and a third films the encounter.
My Problem with this situation is that this girl is the only one in the video who is being criticized. She is being attack about everything from the type of shoes she is wearing to how “experienced” she seems to be. Why has no one criticized the other 3 individuals in the video? There is a young man who decided that it was ok to participate in oral sex while at school, there is another who decided it was ok to watch two people have sex while at school and there is a third who decided its ok to film something that is considered child pornography, yet none of these three have seen any backlash upon them as this young lady has.
The reason why these boys are being treated differently is simple, they are are boys. As young men, most of us are actually taught that it is not only ok to have sex young, but encouraged (I would like to take this moment to point out that i did say most and not all as I was one of those who was not taught this way.). As young men, we are taught it is an embarrassment to be a virgin or to not participate in sexual activities by both our parents and peers. This is something that seems to be common among teenagers. To recall from my own teen years, i remember the phrase that echoed to me and many others around me, ” you are scared of pussy”. Its a dumb phrase, but one that puts fear in the hearts of young men everywhere, and i must admit, i fell pray to it and decided to lose my own virginity just because of it. I fell to peer pressure, something to this day i am not proud of. Since my situation was nowhere near the same as Amber’s, i will use the example of a male friend of mine. He fell victim to this same phrase and decided to lose his virginity at 15. The day after it happened, he came to school and bragged about it and he had ever recorded a portion of it on his phone. The video spread around school, and she was labeled a hoe, even though it was also her first time. She was demonized and the same way Amber Cole was and this girl didnt even know she was being filmed.
Women are taught that having sex at a young age is wrong and whorish, while they watch their brothers being praised for it by the same exact people. You will forever have situations like Amber Cole until you decide to educate both sides in the same way. Till then. women and men will always be treated differently.